People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Randomize
