I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
