Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My brain says no but my pants say off.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
