i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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