do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize