i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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