Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
