seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
time to smoke my breakfast
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It's never too late to be topless.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
