First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
