I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
