apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
