I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i out mim tonsoeep
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