He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
