Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
