i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
