Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
