That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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