i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
