She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
