I cockslap morals
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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