i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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