so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
