I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
