I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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