Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Small penises have feelings too.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Randomize