I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
