Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
