I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
