I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
