she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize