On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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