After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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