So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
