She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
