she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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