You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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