her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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