matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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