you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize