Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize