Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
