you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just high enough for therapy.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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