Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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