Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize