summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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