big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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