I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
