They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
