i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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