Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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