I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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