Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
