I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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