When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
