I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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