I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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