There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
