Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
