god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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