Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
