Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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