There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
