Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
