the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
