fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
there was a trapeze. enough said
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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