You're completely useless in the revolution.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
