I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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