At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
