My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
