Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize