jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
